dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
