This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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