I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
