Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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