we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
