dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
being pregnant is like rehab
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
