Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize