She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
