what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
