i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Who died my cat blue again?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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