Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
is that a dick in a sweater?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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