in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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