i was rollin on her like bob the builder
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
