you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
