I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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