Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
