My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
