Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
