Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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