my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
