Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
4 words: hood of his car
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
