he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
