Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
