My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We need to get me chipped asap
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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