I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
