so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
