Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize