im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize