thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize