would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my shit smells like andre
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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