But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
