I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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