I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Can I color on your dick again?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize