marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My vagina just clenched in fear
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
