It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
