i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize