To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
