The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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