He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
