I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
