My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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