its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
