What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
