I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
