Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
