The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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