I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
