I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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