I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
