Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
