my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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