We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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