you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
either way he was missing a nipple.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
