a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
