I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
