I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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