but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It's official drugs can't kill me
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
