Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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