so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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