It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
