Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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