Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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