There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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